Following on from Kim’s article yesterday on what she would like for Christmas, Phil and I thought we’d do our own list to Santa. And I tell you what: he’d better have a lot of room in his sack because these presents are pretty big.
First up, we want a tank from GTA. Phil and I hate the commute to work every morning (London is a very busy place, you know) and driving down Baker Street in this bad-boy will ensure a smooth ride over the cars in the rush-hour jam.
No more rush hour traffic for us.
Secondly, we want a Big Daddy from BioShock. Whenever we need a path to the bar cleared, this guy will make sure nobody gets in our way.
Fancy a pint?
Next up, we want the Normandy from Mass Effect. Phil and I haven’t been to space recently because our old spaceship is knackered, so this would be a great help; and if Santa wants to throw in Garrus as our trusty sidekick too that would be much appreciated.
Just leave it on the roof, Santa.
Accommodation in London can be pretty small so why not upgrade to a more spacious residence? Princess Peach’s castle from the Mushroom Kingdom would do nicely. Not only would it be a big enough space to have a party every night, it would be worth a fortune; and when the Queen gets jealous we can sell it to her for a nice profit.
If the Queen wants to come round for tea, she’s more than welcome.
Phil needs a girlfriend pretty badly so why not give him the gift of true love by bringing him Lara Croft? She can kick the arse of anyone who gives him trouble, plus she can buy him a few pairs of small shorts to walk about the house in (he’s not a piece of meat, Lara).
Nobody messes with my boyfriend.
So Santa, that’s our list: Phil and I have been good boys all year and we want you to deliver the goods. We’re going to leave you the best mince pies money can buy – but if you pull the same stunt as last year, where you ate all the pies and thieved the television, we’re not going to be happy.
